Day 2: Trying to Be Invisible

On my second day I arrived with a mission to complete the teacher’s bulletin board in the hallway. As I gathered materials to decorate and post on it, I realized that if I could do this task with an invisible cloak, I would be better off because every time I looked up a student was steering at me. I could understand their concern because I was handling their artwork to be placed on the bulletin. As well as the teacher did not introduce me as a volunteer or anything. When one of the students built up the courage to ask me who I was I told her I was volunteering in order to get some experience before I begin teaching. Her next question was immediately, so you are in college? The level of excitement in her voice made me understand that it is probably rare for these students to know someone who looks like the, minority and female being in college, much more graduate school. In that moment I knew I had to continue sharing with her and the other classmates who turned away from their work to listen to what I was saying. At the end of my last 3 hours there I was reassured that I was able to impress the teacher with the awesome bulletin board I completed—thank God for creative inspiration because initially I was very intimidated by the large space to be decorated--- but more importantly I inspired the students to believe they can attend college and they inspired me to take every opportunity to expose students to determined and accomplished people.

Volunteering in an Urban Setting

 To complete my volunteer hours I ventured back to my old middle school. When I attended the school it was a predominantly black school, with slightly more whites than Hispanic students. Upon returning it is not 99 percent minority students— mainly made up of black and Hispanic students and students receiving free and reduced lunch. This was not shocking to me, seeing as the neighborhood demographics were changing. I was however, in a disturbed awe at the fact that I was volunteering in a classroom with a teacher described in our class text—white,middle class, female with little ability to relate to her students, thus lacking classroom management. This was evident to me when the students could instigate a fight with other students and the teacher simply walked around the students and in a faint voice asked the students to sit down and be quiet, which was typically overlooked. That was her approach to much of the students misbehavior. Most of the time the students calmed themselves down but I cannot help but wonder how much teaching and learning time was lost. Due to my volunteer duties being only to organize her bulletin boards, I only observed the students instead of assisting them or the teacher. As well as, I was told I could not discipline the students since I was not a teacher or administrator. This was hard at first because these students seemed out of control, but then I realized that me scorning them may not be sensible in that they do not know me and I do not know them, i.e. secure relationships were not established between myself and the students. My heart hurt for the students and the teacher because it was so apparent that neither wanted to be there. My teacher even voiced to me that she was going to be leaving soon, after only being there for two years. It is unfortunate because of the lack of inconsistency this produces for the school.  By the end of my first day at the school, I was so sad to see such great potential for learning be suffocated by the students’ social and ethnic status and burned-out teachers.