Day 2: Trying to Be Invisible

On my second day I arrived with a mission to complete the teacher’s bulletin board in the hallway. As I gathered materials to decorate and post on it, I realized that if I could do this task with an invisible cloak, I would be better off because every time I looked up a student was steering at me. I could understand their concern because I was handling their artwork to be placed on the bulletin. As well as the teacher did not introduce me as a volunteer or anything. When one of the students built up the courage to ask me who I was I told her I was volunteering in order to get some experience before I begin teaching. Her next question was immediately, so you are in college? The level of excitement in her voice made me understand that it is probably rare for these students to know someone who looks like the, minority and female being in college, much more graduate school. In that moment I knew I had to continue sharing with her and the other classmates who turned away from their work to listen to what I was saying. At the end of my last 3 hours there I was reassured that I was able to impress the teacher with the awesome bulletin board I completed—thank God for creative inspiration because initially I was very intimidated by the large space to be decorated--- but more importantly I inspired the students to believe they can attend college and they inspired me to take every opportunity to expose students to determined and accomplished people.

Volunteering in an Urban Setting

 To complete my volunteer hours I ventured back to my old middle school. When I attended the school it was a predominantly black school, with slightly more whites than Hispanic students. Upon returning it is not 99 percent minority students— mainly made up of black and Hispanic students and students receiving free and reduced lunch. This was not shocking to me, seeing as the neighborhood demographics were changing. I was however, in a disturbed awe at the fact that I was volunteering in a classroom with a teacher described in our class text—white,middle class, female with little ability to relate to her students, thus lacking classroom management. This was evident to me when the students could instigate a fight with other students and the teacher simply walked around the students and in a faint voice asked the students to sit down and be quiet, which was typically overlooked. That was her approach to much of the students misbehavior. Most of the time the students calmed themselves down but I cannot help but wonder how much teaching and learning time was lost. Due to my volunteer duties being only to organize her bulletin boards, I only observed the students instead of assisting them or the teacher. As well as, I was told I could not discipline the students since I was not a teacher or administrator. This was hard at first because these students seemed out of control, but then I realized that me scorning them may not be sensible in that they do not know me and I do not know them, i.e. secure relationships were not established between myself and the students. My heart hurt for the students and the teacher because it was so apparent that neither wanted to be there. My teacher even voiced to me that she was going to be leaving soon, after only being there for two years. It is unfortunate because of the lack of inconsistency this produces for the school.  By the end of my first day at the school, I was so sad to see such great potential for learning be suffocated by the students’ social and ethnic status and burned-out teachers.

Encore Part 2

 On Tuesday I received an email from the speaker of the LEGACY Connect event that read,

Thank you, I really appreciate it. When you came to speak to us, it was amazing because you inspired me to peruse my dreams and live up to my expectations. I'm really interested in Civil Engineering and I've trying to find and get in touch with successful engineers to help aid me in my quest for success in the engineering field. I learned that the best way to learn is to have a mentor and learn from them and follow their path to success.

            Thank you,

You inspire me

 

P.S. Hope we can stay in touch.

The speaker told me it nearly brought him to tears because he was glad to serve the student even though he, himself was going through one of the hardest weeks of his life. It is amazing becasue sometimes we forget that investing our time on another's life can propel our own life into a place of gratitude and rejoicing. The student who wrote this letter was a male and as I mentioned before I wanted to make sure we reached the young males, well goal accomplished! It is almost time to celebrate! Once the student and hopefully other students graduate college and attribute their success to the aid of the mentor then we will really party because our long term work was doen efficiently and effectively!

Encore!

 This past Thursday was the LEGACY Connect event, where my leadership and mentoring program went to a local high school and spoke to junior students about preparing and attending college. Aside from our 15 minute delay, the program ran smoothly. The students were receptive to the speaker who spoke about the key to having multiple plans for college success. In order to prove the need for multiple plans, the speaker shared a story about his high school experience of believing he would go to college upon receiving athletic scholarships, but in his senior year he tore a critical muscle, which forced him to decide on an actual academic major college. As he shared his story I observed the students' facial expression modeled shock and concern. At the end of the his speech, he joined the panel discussion and immediately the students hammered him with questions about  his experiences and asking him for specific instructions to pursuing their dreams. The most intriguing aspect was the way the students were drawn to us [college students offering advice], even though it was expected since most of these students will be the first to attend college in their families. Some great moments of the event, were when a student asked about double majoring in aerospace engineering and mechanical engineering--so ambitious-- then when a student was extremely excited to begin college at a state college. My favorite moment was when we were invited back. The guidance who invited us back was extremely humble and would like us to take it even a step further by having us entering classrooms to speak with the students. I am so encouraged to execute this project multiple times next year.

Charge!

  A charge to stay on guard is what teaching in a n urban setting requires. An on guard mentality is not in regards to one's safety but in regards to saving the lives of the students present. These statements cross my mind and tug at my heart because the more I study our course text--Start Where You Are, But Don't Stay There-- the more I understand that I have to remain alert to my preconceived beliefs about my students in order to deflect stereotyping. As well as guarding my students' from any biases held against them because of their diverse backgrounds. While reading the chapter titled, White Teachers Learning to Teach, there was a story of a teacher who thought she found a cultural truth about African American students because her African American student's preferred verbal examinations instead of written exams. However good this sounds for the teacher to then become considerate of the needs of African American students, it was only hindering the students from the reality that they will need to acquire the skills to succeed at the future written exams. This moment in the text emphasized the significance of weighing every decision I make by assessing if the value of the immediate gratification is worth the risk of possible permanent disqualification. I charge myself and everyone who reads this to consider wholly, the possible outcomes of their decisions in regards to themselves and all other individuals involved.

Preparation

 A couple of days ago I found out that the urban school my mentoring program will host a college -ready program for is going to be held in the cafeteria instead of the auditorium. As well as I was told there will be at least 60 students. My immediate reaction to this insight was, wow what can we do in a cafeteria and only 60 people? At that point I questioned my negativity and my desire to blame the school for this change in plan. Then I heard the word intimacy in my mind and realized that its in those smaller settings  I can educate with greater depth. I envision this event to be extremely informal and for true connections to be made amongst the high school students and my college scholars. I now need to further organize my scholars and solicit their thoughts on cultivating these high school students because these students are the reason we have an opportunity to serve and with that in the forefront of my mind then I can play my role as organizer to the best of my ability.

     I am the coordinator of a leadership and mentoring program for minority students at the University of Central Florida. A part of the program involves a community service project, which my scholars---students enrolled in the program--- are in competing groups where they develop a project to be carried out in the spring if their idea wins. In 2011, the winning project was an idea to host a college-readiness, panel discussion at urban high schools. The execution was phenomenal—college students making themselves available to high school students during one of their classroom periods through a question and answer session, speaking presentations, and entertainment. Therefore, this project has become an annual event for my program. This year we have been scheduled to attend a high school that has heard much praise about the event and anticipates our coming. However, during the process of planning this event we incurred a roadblock because the contact we scheduled the event with failed to inform us that they would no longer be working there and did not transfer us the new person in their position. Neither had they informed the new person about the event. This left us in a bind because once we were able to connect with the new contact; he informed us that our scheduled date was no longer available due to this date being the day the school counselors going to their feeder school which they recruit middle school students getting ready for high school. After about two weeks of playing phone tag with the new contact I had to post pone our event because he was required to attend the feeder school. Thankfully we have been able to reschedule our program

            This incident made me wonder how often urban schools must forfeit one opportunity for another due to short staffing, poor scheduling and any other factor that arises against enhancing the students’ experiences.  Being an optimist, I take from this moment an understanding that persistence and patience in reaching students is greater than having my plans implemented exactly as initially planned. My new mentality in education is remain flexible and do not take anything personal because it is not about me, but about reaching the students to develop their excellence.